Talking to Myself

A dear friend and I agreed to read Jennifer Rothschild’s new book entitled “Self Talk, Soul Talk”. Once a month we are getting together to discuss what we’ve read and share what we’ve learned. I am only on chapter three and my discussion notes will take once a week lunches for a year because I talk to myself. Do you talk to yourself?

In Jennifer’s book she shares these statistics. “Psychologists and neuroscientists have concluded that everybody maintains a continuous, ongoing silent dialogue, or stream of talk, of between 150 and 300 words a minute. These are grouped into 45,000 to 51,000 thoughts each day. Most of those thoughts are neutral or harmless, such as Where did I put my keys? Or I need to go to the dry cleaners today. But another small yet powerful percentage of such self-directed speech can be accurate or inaccurate, constructive or destructive, right or wrong words that pack quite a punch.” Those are the words I am talking about today.

We all talk to ourselves. It’s what we choose to say that impacts how we perceive and begin to understand who we are. It starts early in life too. Remember the first time you were embarrassed in front of your peers? Did your conversation with yourself go something like this? “You idiot, I cannot believe you did that, you will never live this down or maybe like this, I am so mortified, I will never be able to face these people again, they all think I am so stupid, because I am.” However the conversation went, you began to process that you were at times, an idiot, stupid, unaccepted, unloved, would always be on the outside or maybe even, never have any real friends. Whatever you said, you started to stockpile, right then and there, negative thoughts that would resurface each time you made a mistake, wrong choice, had an embarrassing moment or even a bad day.

When I was growing up I had huge issues with weight. It seemed I constantly struggled with overeating, being overweight, finding clothes that would fit and basically a self-image that was so destructive I began to look for my self-worth in very negative ways. By the time I got to college I carried around a lot of baggage, even into my first marriage. I needed my husband and others to give me validity. I expected them to carry the burden of helping me to like myself. How unfair when they had their own baggage, I just heaped on more. I often sought out friends who needed me, because if they needed me then I felt needed, thus better about who I was. Let’s face it, I was helping these unfortunate few, who had no clue I needed them far more than they needed me.

As a young Christian I struggled with my self-image, never understanding how much God loved me as I was. It was not until my divorce and even later that I began to understand how the choices I made; the things I told myself went against everything God said about me. For me, it took some very wise counsel and serious “soul talk”. Colossians 4:6 says “Let your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have the right answer for everyone.” What I failed to understand is that the conversation has to start with me. God loves us so much that he tells us in Psalm 139 that “he knew us before we were every born”. He also tells us that “He knows our words before we speak them” even to ourselves. How it must distress Him to hear what we say to ourselves when he loves us so much He created us. I think of the young anorexic girl who is starving herself because she tells herself every day how ugly and fat she is. The young Mom who had to keep working to make ends meet after having the baby telling herself what an awful Mom she must be to leave her baby in the hands of a stranger daily. We all fill our heads with negative talk. The world convinces us we are what we tell ourselves. Instead of hearing God, who tells us “we are His workmanship” (Ephesians 2:10) we hear what we are not according to the world. I Timothy 4:4 tells us that “everything God created is good.” How sad God must be when he hears how much we do not like what He has created.

1 Timothy 4 goes on in verse 7 to say “But do not follow foolish stories that disagree with God’s truth, train yourself to serve God.” God’s word tells us that we are made in His image, created by God and loved by God yet we fill our minds with foolish stories, and negative thoughts, contradictory to the Word of God. Jennifer goes on to share “Wise, truthful words are never harsh or unkind. They are gracious. Wise truthful words are never wimpy or without power. They have authority. Even the hard truths we speak to ourselves should not be condemning. They should build us up. You can’t remove those hurtful thoughts, words and memories, but by the power of God, you can drain them of their potential control over you.”

What harsh, hurtful words and thoughts are you carrying as you talk to yourself today? Replace them with the wise words of God found in His letters to you. Are your thoughts based on the truth or lies found in scripture? Take a minute today to examine your “self-talk”. Philippians 4:8 says we are to think about things that are “good and worthy of praise, true, honorable, right, pure and respected.” Start talking those things today that honor God; you will be amazed at the conversations that take place silently and what others in your life start to hear!

Surrender

There’s a wonderful hymn entitled “I Surrender All” that says:

“All to Jesus I surrender

all to Him I freely give

I will ever love and trust Him

In His presence daily live

I surrender all

I surrender all

All to the my blessed savior

I surrender all.”



What does it mean to truly surrender? The word surrender conjures up images of someone guilty being caught, maybe one more cookie from the jar and the lights suddenly turn on, “caught with your hand in the jar” you admit to the crime and head to bed, cookie less and sad. Maybe whoever caught you ended up at the kitchen table with cookies and a glass of milk, giggling that a late night snack was just what they were looking for too. Either way surrender has different outcomes. What do you think of when you hear the word surrender? The dictionary defines the word surrender as “to give up, or give back”, to yield or relinquish”. At times it is to give up control, at others to give up something you have. No matter what you must give up something.

Jesus took the word surrender quite literally. He gave his life as the ultimate surrender so that you could gain your life. Matthew 10:39 says “Those who try to hold on to their lives will give up true life. Those who give up their lives for me will hold on to true life.” Romans chapter six and twelve tell us we are to surrender ourselves as “living sacrifices” to God to be used in doing good. Christ came to bring new life. Colossians 3:10 says “you have begun to live a new life, in which you are being made new and becoming like the One who made you.”

Ruth surrendered herself for the sake of her mother-in-law; the apostles surrendered their lives for the sake of Christ whom they followed to His death and after. David was even willing to surrender himself to a life on the run until such a time as God saw fit to make him King. Being a Christian means “surrender”. It means being willing to give up what you have to gain even more. Kelly Minter in her study on Ruth says “What Christ can do with a willing life surrendered at His feet is more than we can comprehend.” We are all at risk of missing what Christ has in store if we continue to hold onto what we must surrender.

Are you holding onto this life; those old habits? Do you fall back into the patterns of life before Christ when the going gets tough? Are you holding onto a grudge, bitterness, anger? Surrender the old today. Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us to put off the old and become as a new person in Christ. Surrender the old, put on the new. Surrender can be a good thing, what do you need to give up today to make all things new? Tell Jesus what you need to surrender and sing of what you freely give the Savior who surrendered all.

True Giving

2 Corinthians 8:5 “They gave in a way we did not expect. They first gave themselves to the Lord and then to us.”



The people of Macedonia had nothing left to give. 2 Corinthians chapter 8 tells us that these people went through times of very hard trouble. So much so that they were extremely poor and yet they begged and pleaded with Paul and his friends to allow them to give in service for God’s people. As I was searching the scriptures about giving I came across many stories about others who had nothing left to give and yet, gave more.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you have nothing left to give and yet you are being asked to give more? Sometimes it is all you can do to scrape yourself out of bed and give one more day to the world around you. Sometimes there is a spring in your step and you are happy to give because you are in a time of prosperity in your life. Other times, the poverty of not just your wallet but your spirit is a weight that ties you to the bottom of the ocean. How can you possibly give when you can’t even untie the weight? And yet, that is precisely when the biggest blessings of your life are poured out upon you. How do I know? I’ve been there. I have seen the bottom of the ocean and felt the waves crashing and truthfully I anticipate that in my days here on earth I will see the ocean floor many more times. That’s how life works. Cycles of good and plenty, cycles of famine and despair. But even in the times of famine God is harvesting for us a reward we cannot see nor comprehend.

You see, giving does not just mean we give monetarily. Giving is so much more, it is in time, talent, a listening ear, an extra hand, a hug, an offer to help. Giving comes in many shapes and sizes. The problem is, sometimes we feel as though we just have nothing left to give. Unlike the people of Macedonia, most of us, when in this state, just crawl into a corner and cry. I want to say that as a Christian I have changed my ways and step forward in certainty when at the end of my giving, that I can find more and give more but I would be telling a very big lie. I run, I hide and I cry why me, can’t I have a few more minutes, some time for me, me, me, me.

That is when I can feel the love of God ever so strongly pulling me out of my comfort zone. He gently prods me and says, just a little more, the rewards are great, you wait and see. And so, I give, not because it’s easy but because it’s right. The people of Macedonia figured that out. The widow in Mark 12 figured it out. She gave all she had, all she had to live on and was used as a true example of a cheerful giver by Jesus. Most importantly as we come to the weekend in which we celebrate out Lord’s resurrection we remember the ultimate Giver. Not only did Christ give His life for each of us but God gave His only Son so that we could be called sons and daughters of the Most High God.

Kelly Minter, in her study on Ruth talks about giving in times of wealth and in times of poverty. Are you at a place of wealth in your life? Giving seems easy then. But when you are at a place of poverty Kelly says it is then “at a place when I am broken, depressed, and depleted, that God wants me to give even more. We all have something to give, even when we are broke or broken.” When Christ hung, broken and bleeding on the cross he could have screamed in agony and groaned in pain. That is not what He did. Laying aside his pain He asked his Father to forgive us. When he had nothing left to give he gave more, the ultimate example of giving.

Today, if you are experiencing a time when it seems you just have nothing left to give or a time of wealth when giving comes easy take a minute to thank the true Giver of life. The One who gave All so that we could have more, our blessed Savior, Christ Jesus.